Litaly, Part 2

I like Litaly.  Starting just with the physical, she kind of looks like Angelina Jolie with these great, full lips and similar eyes.  That is, if Angelina Jolie was 4’11” and had slightly bigger boobs.  Yes, I am awful.

Beyond the superficial, where I rarely venture, it should be noted that Litaly comes from a working-class family, is funny, and is very relatable.  We just work.  And when shit is working, you leave shit alone.  Because life for me is best kept simple.

Let’s start with the basics.  Sex, aka fucking, is said by some to be one of the primary drives of our species.  It’s essential, then; a necessary aspect of our human condition, a function that extends beyond simply procreation:

It can be used to forecast the future:

And human beings are known to be visual creatures:

Nevertheless, despite attempts at disguising ourselves with sophistication, we are all still animals:

It takes an animal to know an animal.  We knew other contenders would simply not measure up:

I gladly test drove that worthiness:

There was no baby, there was only violence:

All is well here, right?  Again, all is well until someone tries to fix what isn’t broken.

Animals should be very basic.  But, when animals attack in complicated ways, I am well-equipped to defend myself with some innovative self-defense moves.  I plot my discussion with Litaly, fully prepared to walk away if need be.  She doesn’t see any of this coming:

Since I figured I would be free in just a few hours, as no girl wants to be reduced to booty call status after signaling her relationship intentions, I wanted to secure the availability of The Greek:

I was hoping to take her to a special place with this one, but The Greek was reading my mind.  I really do like her, and if I can just get her to get back to simple, then we can go back to business as usual.

Moments before the date:

But then there was a surprise plot twist!!  I didn’t see this coming:

Nailed it, I did.  So, I celebrated the news all night long:

I cropdusted her bed and her relationship plans.  For further inquiries into how I pulled this off please read the following:

And even some further thoughts from the ladies and the esteemed Mr. Christopher Mohammed Shapiro:

Lisa feels that this may have a shorter shelf life than I anticipate.  Nass/CMS knows this two-timing can have more dire consequences.  Only time will tell.  But, as of now, I’m holding all the cards.  And I’m ready to hold more aces.


I’m a divorced dude living and dating in New Jersey. This blog is my story told through a first-person view of my text messages to my friends and/about my dates.