Litaly (Little Italy) quickly became the front runner during my time swiping on Tinder.  I loved her profile statement, too:

We hit it off right away on the app:

I quickly got her off the app onto my phone.  But, before going out on a date, it’s customary to do a little background check on one another.  For instance, it might be important to know about someone’s religious beliefs:

And education background:

Once Litaly and I got past that, the vibe was really good:

It’s important that I click with someone whose humor is a little perverse, like mine:

In between jokes I offer up a complement or two every now and then:

So, talk is cheap, I’m all about action.  I set up a date at the Stagehouse in Somerset:

Before we met each other we clearly had some anticipation anxiety leading up to the date.  Height is always a concern:

So is weight:

And we all have some general concerns that we want to express:

We both know catfishing is “reel” (sorry)…She asked me if I was going to look like my pic…

And proceeded to return fire:


I just had to find her on Facebook to see more pics…I was very, very pleased, and confident that I was getting something legit.  So, we went on the date:

The date suddenly took a very surprising turn.  As Litaly and I were talking, she said something that reminded me of a relevant picture that I could show her.  I reach in my pocket to grab my phone and what do I see, not a picture, but a text message from my ex, Pearl.  Pearl was the last girl I was ever in love with, who rejected me in spectacular fashion, and now she is suddenly reaching out to me.  I would text her periodically, but faded that behavior for the most part since the red pills were working so well.  Now that I was sitting on fastballs all night I never saw the hook coming:

This text stopped the show and completely fucked me up in the head.  As previously attested, I am a recovering oneitis pedestalizer.  No matter how much work I have done on myself and progress I’ve made, I still find it difficult to shake this one.  To date she is my one and only weakness.  I could not resist the urge to text her back:

I recovered and got my act together.  Litaly and I then went to her car so she could help me forget about all this.  Here’s what happened:

It was total sex violence.  One of the best first dates ever:

So, as Litaly drives away, I take a piss on the Stagehouse’s lawn, and I text my ex the following public service announcement:

The next day, though, I admitted that I felt kind of snake bitten by Pearl coming into the mix:

Thankfully I have plenty of distractions keeping me from going off the deep end.  The last thing I need is getting infected with another terrible case of oneitis again:  And I want to be honest here; I like Litaly, and I already know all about Pearl:

This could all be great, or could be the part of the movie where everything begins to fall completely apart for me.  Either way, it’s very exciting stuff.



I’m a divorced dude living and dating in New Jersey. This blog is my story told through a first-person view of my text messages to my friends and/about my dates.