Flabby Cadabra

Just imagine the joy on my face when I get this randomly pumping through my phone via FB Messenger:

Actually, my first thought was “Wtf is this?”  So, I clicked on this mystery girl’s profile and recognized her instantly:

After Pearl and I were done, and before online dating got into my blood, I saw this girl emceeing at my daughter’s birthday party.  I had known her during my married days—she was the manager of a trampoline place that I used to bring my kids to before it went out of business.  I was attracted to her then.  And now, nearly forgotten, I can act on that attraction: One business card was all it took to see the return on investment…nearly two years later.  Apparently, she had sent me a friend request two weeks earlier and I just blindly accepted it.  Let’s just say they probably shouldn’t have me doing airport security any time soon.

So the date was set:

I was worried about juggling a few girls lol.

I honestly couldn’t wait for that history to be rewritten.

I had to ask her for an update pic, you know, in case I couldn’t recognize her:

That turned the sex dial up to 11.  I had to ask her where she likes to get down.  She, in turn, asked me about where I like to go down:

This girl enjoys going to classy places with great ambience:

But, whether I want to or not I am always on the lookout for the color red:

But I had tunnel vision going with this one.  Since the vibe was so good I continued running full mast:

I felt so confident about this girl.  The pics were hot, the connection was good, all systems go: I was going down to Philly on the upcoming weekend and I wanted a sex companion:

But before I made that invite official I needed to know for sure that I’d like her.  So, I set up a little pre-trip trial balloon date, and discussed my thoughts with the girls:

Well, my midnight snack must’ve thought I’d be hungry, because she showed up as a five-course snack instead!  I just couldn’t believe, after all the pics I had vetted and seeing her before, that she could be that big.  Now I have no problems with big women, I have problems with big women who pretend they’re not.  I got through the date and played nice, but didn’t want to give her any wrong ideas about how I felt.  So, the next day, I explained those feelings I had to her:

I should’ve waited until 8.  Now, about that trip to Philly…


I’m a divorced dude living and dating in New Jersey. This blog is my story told through a first-person view of my text messages to my friends and/about my dates.