The swiping has started again. I logged back onto BUMBLE and dove right in. My pictures are updated and my bio is tight. I set my radius to 15 miles. Within the first weekend, I have multiple prospects. These guys are attractive, educated, have careers, and are balancing kids too. This is excellent and I am excited to get started. This may be a bit devious but I give each guy the same type of opening and I see how they respond. Can he handle sarcasm? Can he deliver a smart and witty come-back? Does he spell his words correctly and use correct punctuation?
This immediately weeds out the mismatches. And I am left with a couple potential suitors. I zero in on this handsome, bearded, fleece wearing fellow. He is on the beach with his kids. Wow he’s handsome. I read his bio and he is smart, successful, and “always looking to grow and learn”. We begin to text and its glorious banter. At this point I decide to check his location. YONKERS!!! WHAT? This is the moment where I decide to keep texting, because I haven’t had this banter in a long while. As fast as I launch a comment, he is just as quick. I ask him where he lives. 132 Miles away! What am I doing?
He asks for my number because we are enjoying the connection and the texting continues. He is kind, sensitive, and an intellectual. He is well-travelled, opinionated, thoughtful, and a doting dad. He asks to talk on the phone and we end up talking for 3 hours! This has never happened to me. I haven’t had this type of connection. This is more of an intellectual and emotional connection. There are no sexual undertones or double entendres. It is refreshing and engaging. I AM HOOKED. I AM ENCHANTED. I can’t get enough. I try to play it cool and be busy. I wait until he texts me each day, which he usually does. He asks to talk to me. We talk for hours. I like to hear his voice, and I tell him so. He reciprocates the compliment.
I push to set a date to meet. I want to see if this is a real connection or just a pen pal. A bet on a football game sets up the perfect opportunity to set up a potential meeting. Coincidenitally, I will be in his area in a few weeks. I tell him this, thinking he will jump at the chance. Instead he back tracks, he may have a work meeting. He starts avoiding the meet up conversation, yet still texts. Our schedules limit our communication. I begin to see that this will never materialize into anything. I also recognize that the potential for a future relationship is slim to none. However, I am a romantic and I dream that a man will drop everything to come and see me. That somehow I am worth the drive. As I reflect, I never wanted a long term relationship and didn’t envision this to last long. I was enchanted by the connection.
This connection was doomed from the beginning. 132 miles is too far when you both have careers and kids that are based locally. He didn’t want to meet me for fear of heart break -the fear of his heart break. I wanted to meet him to see if it was real. Despite a long conversation, we couldn’t “meet in the middle”. Last night ended in a weird, bittersweet, awkward and somewhat sad good bye.