The World Is My Clam

For the people who are reading this blog, if you are separated, divorced, or even contemplating, a fear of yours should never be, “How am I ever going to meet someone again?”  Because, have no fear, the world has no shortages of opportunities for you that go well beyond online dating, as long as you are…


A Member of a Gym:


Put your tax dollars to good use:

Saved in a girl’s phone who you matched with on Tinder awhile back (so random):

Have legs, which help you walk into bars:

Able to create and order business cards online, maybe even for a real business, for the sole purpose of picking up chicks:

A little sexually adventurous:

Able to stay out of jail (somehow):

Able to purchase a smartphone that can send and receive high quality photos:

Create Facebook Fuckbook and Instagram Instabam accounts:

Able to manage it all in just one tiny brain:

I mean, after all, all of this may end up going to your head:

But, let’s not use alternative facts: Online dating is so damn easy it makes taking candy from a baby look like you’re taking candy from Fort Knox:

So, with the world in my palm, can I add anything else to carry in my hands?  Let’s find out.


I’m a divorced dude living and dating in New Jersey. This blog is my story told through a first-person view of my text messages to my friends and/about my dates.