Cape Cock, Part 2

So, as we said last time, something is going on with Cape Cod and I.  Cape Cod, she of the 250 miles away and the daily nudy pics, is not my usual pursuit.  Usual pursuit is pronounced ‘bloh-ing lohds’, by the way.  Perhaps I’m craving something different with her, something I dare not attempt to… Read more

Cape Cock, Part 1

Why have a pen pal when you can have a pen fuck buddy?  You do remember Cape Cod, don’t you? Cape Cod and I started texting and we found out we had a lot in common beyond just texting: Sexting. Did I mention her Jersey roots yet?  Well, she even came to visit family in… Read more

Dial 846337 For Long Distance

September 30, 2017 A long-distance weekend getaway for no particular reason at all.  Cape Cod, Massachusetts is the destination.  I’m going pretty deep in the Cape, nearly all the way to the tip, in fact.  The journey began for me in true David Shepard fashion: So, with not much time at all, I decided to… Read more

A Dating App Called Facebook

I recently decided to become the last person on the planet to join Facebook.  I’m not sure why I even did it.  But, now that I was there, I figured I better make up for lost time and stalk every girl I have ever known.  Welcome to my new dating app: Assbook. To be perfectly… Read more

Tinder

Tinder is about as close to true love as it gets for me. I always like opening my presents early. Tinder has a decidedly different “feel” than Bumble: Almost shocked that the profiles didn’t say ‘looking for a serious relationship’ Tinder is the gift that keeps on giving.  On Tinder, there is everything… We have… Read more

Hollywood

If no one else thinks you’re a star, at least you do. I matched with Hollywood on Bumble, but I started to get that old familiar feeling on this one: It was her: The petite, pretty blonde girl from high school who I graduated with.  What are the odds of this?  Now, 40, she looks… Read more

Corporate

Corporate was another Bumblefuck…minus the fuck. There’s a certain kind of girl I go for; Corporate is not one of them.  I want educated, but not uptight.  I want someone who has a sense of adventure, who’s ok with circumventing a rule or two instead of following the well-traveled (and worn out) path.  In short,… Read more

Manosaurus Wrecks

My first match that I was excited about was this half Asian/half white girl on Bumble.  She looked really good, in shape, and “exotic”, too.  Yes, I understand that’s racist, and I don’t care. But before we get to where we’re going, all I knew—or know in any online dating vacuum situation—was pics, profile statement,… Read more

Bumblefuck

BUMBLEFUCK Bumble launch; 8/13/2017 Bumble is a Tinder clone.  It is a “swiping” app, where you are presented with a virtual card deck of your gender-of-interest’s dating profiles.  Before I get into Bumble there needs to be a discussion about Tinder in case anyone here is new, or just wants my take on it. Tinder… Read more